Taking a moment to feel proud

An article I have written, about my struggles to feel worthy alongside other women, has appeared on Tiny Buddha today. It is called ‘When We Think Other People Are Better Than Us’.

I am so grateful to Lori, the owner of Tiny Buddha, for choosing my article to be published.

Feeling proud of something you’ve done, for me, feels a bit like seeing a dear friend you rarely get to see – its so rare that you embrace it with a massive grippy hug and don’t want to let it go. Even though naughty brain tells me its a bit ick to feel openly proud of yourself, I’m ignoring it.

In fact I am celebrating, albeit in an understated way: I am sitting in the garden drinking cream soda.

Why sitting in the garden? Because it is 28 degrees outside and, seriously, we here in Britain have not seen the sun since March. Last weekend I had the heating on it was so cold. Hell I’m not even wearing tights. Bare legs people!

Why cream soda? It was a treat when I was growing up, saved for a Saturday night while we ate my dad’s homemade chips and watched Baywatch followed by Gladiators. It feels like a little reward.

But giddy celebrations aside 🙂 The main reason I am proud, and grateful, is not just because a thing that I feel and wrote was published, but because other people saw my innermost thoughts today and (that I know of) didn’t judge, laugh or hate. There has been a lot of support and a lot of ‘I know how you feel’, and that is so special to me: to see that there are others who feel the same way as me, others who have the kindness and courage to show solidarity and support. Hopefully I have in turn offered my solidarity and support to them. I am left with a feeling that we are part of a community, all here to help each other to help ourselves feel better.

As I come to the end of this little post, in true English style, the sun has gone in 🙂 but like my moment of pride, I sure made the most of it.

 

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